Disclaimer and intro

If you are reading this, then you may know me. If do know me, then you realize that I may not be the person you once knew. With that being said, if you are of the WWJD variety, and you feel it necessary to ask me, "What would the Lord think of this?", I quite frankly do not give a fuck! Listen, you mean well, but nobody likes a Jesus Freak. Just kidding, don't get your thong in a bunch. I'm writing this blog for entertainment, yours and mine. If I write a story and you think that I may be talking about you, fuck it. If I make it as a famous comic, you'll be famous. I'll invite you to all my big shows. You'll have to pay, of course. We just never liked each other that much, really.
My biggest dream is to be a stand up comic. The sit down variety are kind of , well, lazy. (insert rim shot, not rim job--pervert) Some of what I find funny is sometimes, no almost always warped and/or twisted. Does that make me wrong? If you think so, stop reading now!!! Go no further................ok, if you continue to read and are offended, disturbed, put off, pissed-off, up in arms, pissy, haunted, or immediately filled with rage towards me, I warned you. So Fuck off!!!
I hope that by reading my blogs, you will be enertained. And that's my pledge to you. WTF?? I still dont know if i like you well enough to make a pledge to you just yet.